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whatever lola wants
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-05-26 00:36
Subject:
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I am staying away from chewelah this summer.

but not away from the people that I really like.

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Date:2005-05-25 14:56
Subject:
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post script
John I wanted you to know that today while I was eating lunch, my friend Scott turned to me and asked me who punched me in the neck. thankyou very much.

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Date:2005-05-25 11:39
Subject:dear john franklin and everyone else that i am very excited to see this summer,
Security:Public

there are fifteen days, not counting today, until the quarter is over and i am coming home. i am very excited. i just wanted you to know.

i love you,
emma

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Date:2005-05-25 09:18
Subject:
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okay. no more of this. really. I'm fine. and I just want this to be done with. so, I'm done. please erase me out of your mind.

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Date:2005-05-24 19:57
Subject:you know I've loved you for a long time, I just never knew.
Security:Public

name 20 people you know (in no particular order)Collapse )

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Date:2005-05-23 09:08
Subject:Everything just gets so tangled.
Security:Public

I've gotten very nervous about this whole situation and it makes me want to go away. because I am not so sure that it is something I want to be involved in. but I know it's the right things to do, so it makes it even harder. and right now I'm all alone. someone should come find me. and I won't be back at school until tomorrow, and I miss wendy. so I think that she should come here. to spokane, and see me. and then she should live with me. because I'm bored, and I need someone to talk to me and make me laugh right now. so wendy you should come to spokane right now, or at least call. and I think it's really ridiculous that this is still going on. because I don't think that you would listen to a word I would say anyway. because I think that we want to be angry at eachother. even though I'm not really angry at all. I'm actually not really anything. I just feel apathetic. and I really hate that. because I should be caring about something. but sometimes I just get this way and want lay in bed and do nothing. and I think it's really shitty because you feel like you can give me all the advice in the world and hurt my feelings over and over again, and then when I don't want to put up with it anymore I'm the bad guy. and I think this isn't fair. and I think that a lot it really isn't any of your business. but I know that you care and whatever so you feel like it's your business. but I really feel like it's not. and it has nothing to do with you two hanging out. because really that's something that I try to get over and not care about. and it isn't easy, but I still try. what it has to do with is that you are mad at me for things that I cannot help. I can't change the way I feel. I can't make myself into something different. you of all people should realize this. because I feel like we think the same, and we feel the same way a lot of the time. and I just feel really stuck because you really are my best friend and I would still, at this point, do anything for you if you were to ask, but I'm also feeling mad about the whole thing. and I love you. and I don't have a friendship with anyone else like ours. but maybe things aren't salvageable. and if they aren't I think that I can be okay with that. eventually. because I do have other friends. and they aren't the same, but they're not bad. and I know that I'm fine. I'm just wondering if you really are. and the main thing is I just wish that we could talk to eachother. and I don't think that he should have to go jail, and that's what I'm having the hardest time with. that and police officers calling me. which I really don't like. and I feel like I couldn't help put him in jail. because I would feel bad about it forever. but shamra says it's the right thing to do. but I'm failing to see the rightness. all I can do is say what I saw. because really I think that he should just get some help. to make him the best person that he can be. and to help him get over things. and I'm really cold. and I don't feel very good. and I'm hungry. and I'm sick. and I wish that we could be friends sometime. and I wish that you had never do anything that you did. and it's really not about sides at all. it's really ridiculous.

get a lifeCollapse )

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Date:2005-05-19 23:17
Subject:
Security:Public

I hope everyone had a great day. seriously.

don't drown.

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Date:2005-05-18 14:03
Subject:
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I like you way too much.



emo, emo, emo.


and we're going on adventures. which I am very excited for.
danielle, call me.

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Date:2005-05-17 15:21
Subject:
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from here, you can't see paris.

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Date:2005-05-17 10:10
Subject:smile like you mean it.
Security:Public

this is really lame because I feel bad and guilty. and I think that I'm really lame too. lame, lame, lame. and you say that everything is okay, but I don't think that you're telling the truth. because if everything was okay I wouldn't feel like this. not that you can do anything to change the way that I feel, but yeah. yeah.


edit:

I forgot. todays the day. Wendy, todays the day. You don't know what I'm talking about, but you will. I have an appointment at five. that means I don't get to nap. that makes me sad.


and I think that I broke my own heart.

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Date:2005-05-16 11:10
Subject:I'm tired. and crabby.
Security:Public

I'm really excited for our journies this weekend.
and I have to get a job, so I have to do that while I am home this weekend. on Sunday.
and danielle, i really like you a lot.


katrina, you can spend the night on that friday, it's fine with me. It might be a little boring because it's the weekend before finals, so everyone will have to be quiet and stuff, but you can stay here anyway.



and john, you're the best, you saved me from commiting mass murder on my dorm.

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Date:2005-05-15 23:15
Subject:
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also, girls that wear shirts that say "future m.i.l.f" are idiots and should go away.

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Date:2005-05-14 22:12
Subject:
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danielle,
I'm drinking a big soda again and it makes me miss you. come back.
emma

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Date:2005-05-13 11:09
Subject:
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No no no no no no. No.


no


and I wish I didn't know the truth. because I'm just not that pretty.


also

at breakfast they played the song from donnie darko, and I thought it was good and sad. and ironic.

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Date:2005-05-12 11:30
Subject:I spent a lifetime hoping you would come to me. Get lost in the lies I believe.
Security:Public

I do not necessarily feel good about this. and I don't know why. and I'm tired. but I finished my paper because I'm really good at making shit up. and I bet I'll get a good grade. because I normally do when I make things up.



happy birthday stefanie.

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Date:2005-05-11 10:40
Subject:
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stefanie,
I'm sorry. I don't think that I wanted this to happen. So I'm sorry. And I think that there is more to say, but right now I don't know exactly what it is. And I think this is a really big misunderstanding. And I think it's been taken to the extreme because I am too stubborn to back down when I think that I am right, even when I really know that I am wrong. And really I was just being a catty whench. And so, I think that once you feel better about all of this, I would like to talk. And really apologize. And tell you how I really feel, because I think some of what you "heard" I said is untrue, or was said in a different context and not meant the way that someone told you. And because I really do love you. And I really do think that we are going to be friends for a long time, if not forever. And if I don't have you I have noone to say boner loud in public with and laugh about horse penis'.
emma

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Date:2005-05-10 16:03
Subject:
Security:Public

please stop. because I'm just confused. so please stop.

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Date:2005-05-10 11:49
Subject:I'll be better when I'm older.
Security:Public

I love you. that's it. I guess.

and my grandma still loves me.

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Date:2005-05-09 18:03
Subject:ain't no drag, he's got a brand new bag.
Security:Public
Mood: apathetic

maybe I could die or something because then I would be completely out of the way, right?

fuck you.

too much of a pushover. that's for sure.

edit: a direct quote from my grandma: "well...I still love you."

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Date:2005-05-08 19:15
Subject:
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also, please do not call me out on my shit if I am not allowed to do the same to you. thanks.

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